She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
