think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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