I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
