just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
