I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
