No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i believe in u and ur pee
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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