maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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