He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
