please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
