i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
