Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
