Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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