okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
