I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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