How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
