One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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