help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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