just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
