I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize