is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
