you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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