hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
