Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
