Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
