Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
