Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
