I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
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You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember