i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.