im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz