idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I want to have your abortion
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
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She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
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So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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