You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
