My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
