note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
