Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
being pregnant is like rehab
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
