i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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