During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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