You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
