He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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