He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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