i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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