Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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