the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize