A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
love makes seman taste better
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
