it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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