i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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