Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
