Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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