508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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