She announced her abortion via fbk
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
