I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
