I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
