Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The ass gains better be worth it
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