he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
