I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The air was thick with penises
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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