Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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