me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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