Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
