You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
