even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I party with great urgency now.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
