I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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