dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize