It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
