he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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