insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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