hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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