last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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