i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
