but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
