she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
