I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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